You have probably hold the old proverb "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." But have you really contemplated this in your own settings? First, take it literally. If you were trying to catch flies, what would you use to catch them? Probably sugar, or honey, or something else really sweet. I've seen enough flies around - Texas summers are hot, muggy, and can be swarmed with the things - to know they are always, ALWAYS attracted to whatever is sweet and tasty. But what about vinegar? Would you try that? Maybe you would give it a shot to see what happens, which may be a good experiment for this to really sink in.
But think about it. Honey or vinegar to literally catch more flies? When you've got that firmly in mind, then move on to your own setting. What are you trying to catch? Are you trying to catch friends? Customers? Are you trying to catch a rabbit? Deer?
Don't we all know that if you want to catch a rabbit, you put it's favorite foods in a cage to attract it?
I have tried chasing down a rabbit before, really... A friend and I were at a college campus in high school, late at night (or was it early morning?) and we were bored. So we went outside and rabbits were all over the place, so what should we have done? Catch a rabbit! But we didn't even talk about how to do it best, we just said to each other, "let's go catch one!" So off we went chasing, until after 3 rabbits took off faster than we would ever be able to run, we found one that ran towards a building and was in an entry-way in front of a door, so it was surrounded by 2 walls, me and my friend. We thought we had it if we just closed in carefully and were ready to pounce when it flinched. We were wrong. It darted between us and we didn't even stand a chance.
We tried chasing a rabbit and catching it by force. If we had just put some veggies in a box we would have caught one. I don't know how long it would have taken but we would have caught one.
The point is, consider how you may be trying to force your way onto other people. You may be trying to demand others be a certain way, have a certain attitude, do a certain thing just the way you want it done. This itself is not helpful for you, nor for the other person. I love others. I serve others, even beyond inconvenience and into hurt when needed. I try hard to have a good attitude and not be demanding of others. I speak the truth to others but only when it's out of love for them and hoping that they will respond to have more life. Sometimes I also try to control and demand attitudes, responses from others, but my wife quickly corrects me... thank God for her. All of those things are good, and I hope them for others, and I pray for others often to have this life also. But I can't demand it.
Love, compassion, mercy, justice and service is the honey that catches more people; speaking truth to people with love, compassion, mercy, justice, and service may not always seem appealing to others, but it is the honey of life, offering the best you have for their good. Vinegar is demanding your own way, being rude, cruel, unjust and unmerciful. No one demonstrates this more than Jesus. He is our prime model for this because He even gave up His very life for others. He came to serve, not to be served. I hope to live likewise and I hope for others to do the same, following in His footsteps. I trust Him enough to do this even when it doesn't seem helpful or doesn't seem like it will get anywhere...and it may not get me where I want to go, but it will be the best thing and will build relationships with people. Always be offering the "honey" to others and not the "vinegar".
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